Friday, October 12, 2012

CYG Day 12: Scents

This one was difficult for me because no scent really reminds me of her.  The pink blanket seen in all of these pictures used to smell like her.  She was wrapped in this blanket the first time I saw and held her.  Unfortunately the blanket no longer smells like her, but for many months her smell lingered.  I slept with that blanket for well over a year.  To this day, it hangs on the headboard just above my side of the bed.

CYG Day 11: Supportive Friends/Family

Above all, he has been my rock.  My husband has been by my side through everything, not just te loss of our daughter.  I've been lucky enough to have a large support system since she died.  My mother and step-father, my in laws and a few select friends.  I wish I had a picture of everyone together but I don't.

CYG Day 10: Symbol

The first time I felt her move, I remember saying it felt like butterfly wings. After she died, butterflies became her symbol. Every year on her birthday it seems as though butterflies are everywhere. This little beauty was captured by one of my best friends on Addie's first birthday when she was doing a newborn shoot. Butterflies hold a special place in my heart and always will. ♥

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Capture Your Grief Day 9: Special Place

Not only does she hold a special place in my heart, but also in my home.

Capture Your Grief Day 8: Jewelry

My rainbow holding the necklace I've worn everyday since my oldest, bestest friend in the whole world gave it to me.

Capture Your Grief Day 7: What to Say

Her name will always be music to my ears.  It tells me that people remember her.  It acknowledges her existence.  Saying her name is the best gift anyone could give me.

Capture Your Grief Day 6: What Not to Say

These 2 phrases, well meaning or not, hurt the worst.  First of all, don't tell me there's a better place for my daughter other than her momma's arms.  That was so hard for me to fathom...still is.  The second phrase I absolutely hated.  I know part of the hatred comes from a lack of faith and relationship with God.  He didn't NEED my little girl.  I NEEDED her.

Friday, October 5, 2012

Capture Your Grief Day 5: Memorial

Around our house we have so many reminders of her, but my favorite memorial(s) to her has to be her gardens.  I think its because I created them.  I always feel closer to her when I'm working in the gardens.  These are some of the gladiolas I planted.  They're August's birth flower and so gorgeous!

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Capture Your Grief Day 4: Most Treasured Item

Of everything I have that reminds me of her, my tattoo has to be my favorite.  I carry her feet with me always.

Capture Your Grief Day 3: Self Portrait After Loss

This is me with my Molly Bear.  I love having a weighted, physical representation of my daughter that I can hug any time I need to.

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Capture Your Grief Day 2: Self Portrait before Loss

This is a picture of me taken about a month before I found out I was pregnant with Addie.  I had no idea how much my life would change in less than a year.  Here I was, enjoying vacation in San Diego, no worries, no fears....  Things can change so quickly.

Monday, October 1, 2012

Capture Your Grief Day 1: Sunrise

I'm participating in Carly Marie's Capture Your Grief to celebrate Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month.  I missed the sunrise because a certain rainbow was hungry, but this is just beautiful.  It was very foggy this morning anyway. so I doubt the sunrise would've been visible.

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