22 months without you in my life...

No I didn't forget, I could never forget.  Life has just gotten in the way of my writing time...

It's been 22 months since I last saw your sweet face.  I can't believe it's been that long and yet I still survive.  Momma misses you, sweet girl.  It's not an exaggeration when I say I think of you every day.  Your gardens and gladiolas are finally in full bloom.  I haven't been able to go out and photograph them yet, but I hope to this weekend if the heat and humidity doesn't kill me first.  This summer is reminding me of the summer I was pregnant with you.  But that summer, the heat was non-stop.  At least, this time, we're getting some breaks in between.  Your glads are beautiful though, lack of rain is taking it's toll.  And the gardens aren't quite as pretty as they were last year thanks to my inability to weed like a mad person.  But I promise, next year they'll be gorgeous again.  I promise!

Butterflies are rampant again this year, thank you for all of the winks.  I can't help but think of you every time one flies by.

Your little brother continues to grow and thrive.  He will be here in less than 2 weeks.  Daddy and I are excited to welcome him; just as we were excited for you.  He amazes me everyday with his strength and tolerance.  You would be so proud of him.  I know you'd be a great big sister.  Ahh, what would life be like if you were still here?  A toddler and a newborn...I see a momma pulling her hair out, haha.

Missing you baby girl.  Happy 22 months.

Love,
Momma

Our newest milestone, 32 weeks, and what the future holds...

Well, here we are.  We've made it to 32 weeks.  As of today, we've had 5 IUTs and have the last one scheduled for July 5.  I will be 35 weeks 5 days pregnant on the 5th.

So far, little man has done well in all the transfusions.  He continues to need sedation as he is always active.  It takes him about 2 1/2 to 3 hours to wake up.  This last transfusion was the most successful by far.  The doc was able to push 120ccs of blood which is the most we've gotten in.  They had a really good view of the cord on the U/S machine and I could actually see the blood being pushed into the cord.  Technology is soooooo amazing sometimes.  I could even see the oozing from the cord when the needle was taken out.  The oozing/leaking is normal of course.  Just like a puncture wound to the skin, it's going to bleed for a bit until it clots.  The doc monitors the leaking until it stops just to make sure it actually does stop.

Another plus is that he continues to grow...A LOT.  At last measurement, he weighs in at 4lbs 11oz.  This is at least a pound ahead of average.  I think the measurements are a little off, but he's always measured ahead.  Honestly, I'm not too worried about how big he is.  He's going to be delivered just before 37 weeks, so he definitely needs some extra weight.

Yes, we do have a date, but it may change depending on what my 2 docs decide.  My main doctor in Winchester has scheduled my csection for July 12th (36 weeks and 5 days preggo).  My doctor at UMD is a bit concerned about the early delivery, but hopefully the 2 will be able to talk soon and make a decision.  Honestly, I'm OK about his early delivery.  I know I definitely don't want to go to 39 weeks.  I know it's crazy, but that number just scares me.  I was 39 weeks when we lost Addie...I know lightning doesn't usually strike twice but I don't want to take the chance.

Travelling back and forth to Baltimore has been a pain, but totally worth it.  I've gotten used to the transfusions.  While they still scare me, I'm so glad medical technology has come this far.  He wouldn't have survived without it.

I've slowly been working on the little man's room.  It's finally taking shape.  It's been strange covering up the purple and putting away the girly things, but I know it's for a good reason.  Here's a few pics I took today:

Sometimes it's hard to believe he'll be here in 5 weeks.  It's almost surreal.  Sometimes I don't want to believe it, but it's so hard not to hope.  I love my little Squirmet and can't wait to meet him on the outside.  Here's a few pics from recent sonograms.  Man I can't wait to kiss those chubby cheeks!