As the funk returns...

Here it is, a week from her birthday and the funk is coming in hard and fast.  Sigh...  Some days it seems as though the grief is just as hard as it was when I was just days after giving birth to my lifeless daughter.  But, for the most part, life has gotten easier.  But her birthday will always get to me I think.

We have no big plans.  We never do.  I know I prefer to let her day pass quietly, just as she did.  Though, this year, since Joshy loves "birtday cate" so much, maybe we'll have some.

Can I just say this sucks?  I try not to complain too much, especially because I have a rainbow.  He is the true meaning of a rainbow, too, bringing so much light, joy, and laughter in to our house.  But REALLY, living the life of a BLM sucks.  Instead of celebrating milestones, we grieve for what should have been and it's not fair.  And, notice I said "SHOULD have been" not "COULD have been" because, in all honesty, no child should ever be ripped away from it's parents.

But, life as it is, will go on...