It's hard to believe that in just over 2 weeks, Addie will be 1. Yet, here I sit, no baby to hold and celebrate with. Words cannot describe how much I miss her. Lately I haven't had a lot of time to miss her. I've been so busy with Illuminate and finishing up the memory boxes on top of everything else. But now that Illuminate is finished and the boxes almost complete, my head is filling with thoughts of her. Still, life goes on. So far, we have no big plans for her birthday. I talked to P, and it seems he's not comfortable with having people over. He hasn't said that yet, but he's "thinking about it." That, to me, is a sign that he doesn't want to. Maybe I'm reading him wrong, but I don't think so. All I know is, if we aren't having people over, then I don't want to be home. I need to be a hostess to keep my mind off of her. If I'm home, all I will want to do is sit in her room and cry. I still want to do a butterfly or balloon release though.
I have started a new project to help occupy my mind. I've decided to keep my class blog for Illuminate active and take part in Project 365. Project 365 is just the concept of taking a picture every day for a year. Some have themes, others have specific objects/subjects for each day. My project will focus on things I love, things I enjoy doing, and anything that reminds me of her. It's a huge undetaking, but I need the challenge. Wish me luck! And feel free to check it out anytime: www.addieslight.wordpress.com.
Fallon Jade Rilling
4 days ago