Ari Mitchell
6 years ago
Monday, August 15, 2011
As the funk returns...
The funk has set in earlier than I expected. I found tear tracks on my cheeks this morning after a very restless night. In less than 2 weeks, she will be 1. Can I just say how much this sucks? I know all of us BLMs go through this, but why? Why do any of us have to celebrate a memory instead of a birthday? I have been dreading this funk for awhile now, trying to do everything in my power to keep it away. I guess I just need to accept it. Man, I sound whiny. When did I turn into such a selfish person. All I think about is me, me, me.
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4 comments:
I think your funk is normal. I'm in a bit of one myself.
You aren't not selfish. You miss your baby. That's normal. You should should miss her, she was part of you, part of your heart. None of this is fair, she should be here in a little dress and hair bow to celebrate, not just remember. I know there will be a big celebration in Heaven for her... I wish I could say that Ellie will eat cake with her, but knowing Ellie, I have a feeling she would just try to eat all the cake herself, so hopefully Addie doesn't have to share too much cake! We will be thinking of you during this next couple weeks, and just be gentle to yourself.
All you are thinking about is Addie, Addie, Addie...that's not selfish, that's being a mom and you are a WONDERFUL mom! Be easy on yourself momma, thinking of you!
You remember because you love and that is a powerful, beautiful thing! If you want to finally meet up, go get coffee/dinner sometime in the next few weeks or just need a shoulder to cry on I'm not too far away. xoxo.
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