Nine months....*sigh*. Can I just say I HATE, HATE, HATE this! Its not right...I shouldn't have had to say goodbye to my baby. No one should ever have to say goodbye to their child, its not the natural order of things.
Here I am, nine months later, and nothing has changed. The hole in my heart is ridiculously large, I am childless, I haven't gone in her room since January, and I cry almost every night. I miss her more and more each day. I feel as though I'm getting farther away from her with every passing moment. I don't remember what it was like to feel her move and kick. I don't remember what she smelled like, or what it was like to touch her skin. I'm forgetting so much about her. And I'm regretting not doing more. I regret not taking more pictures, especially one with all of us together, a family picture of sorts. I regret not holding her more, not bathing her, not spending more time with her. So many regrets...and not a damn thing I can do about it!
Happy 9 months sweet girl. Momma's heart is breaking more each day because we're apart. I miss you.