Monday, May 9, 2011

A Mother's Day to forget...

      A well needed vacation ended with my first Mother's Day.  A day I should have been enjoying with my little girl instead of trying to convince myself that I am really a mother.  I have struggled with this.  Am I really a mom?  After all, what do I have to show the fact that I carried a child for 9 months...what do I have to display to the world other than a few pictures and a scar on my belly.  Memories and pictures can't take the place of a warm chubby baby in my arms.  It was certainly a Mother's Day to forget.
     Thank you to those few who chose to wish me a Happy Mother's Day and sent cards or flowers.  I do appreciate it.  I know I'm being very negative about yesterday, but I really do appreciate the fact that there are people out there who care enough to remember her and remember that she was here, even if only for a short time.
     I hope everyone had an ok week.  I know it hasn't been an easy one for any of us.  I will try to catch up on all the blog posts, but I probably won't get to them all.  I will leave you with a few pics from my vacation.  I had hoped to be able to write some names in the sand but I didn't really have a lot of beach time on the cruise.  I think I'm going to pick a few choice pictures and do graphics with angel names.  Stay tuned for that post.  In the mean time, here are some of my fave pics from our cruise to the Bahamas.

A kiss and a drink to celebrate 5 years of marriage

Our room with a view

Dinner at David's Steakhouse on board the ship.

Me holding an alligator

Relaxing with the hubs
Formal night on the ship...bad picture of me
Enjoying the sunset on our balcony

My mom and stepdad at David's

A pod of Atlantic spotted dolphins decided to play in the wake of our ship.  Pretty cool!

Arriving in Nassau

Sunset in Nassau

Me hugging Andy the dolphin...gorgeous, smart creatures!  I love dolphins!
Sunrise in Freeport

My mom and stepdad in Freeport

P during our Jeep tour of Freeport

Hibiscus at the Garden of the Groves in Freeport

Thunderheads over the Atlantic Ocean


Melissa said...

That looks like a fun vacation. Mother's day was rough....and I even have a living child so of course no one would forget about celebrating Mother's day for me....but I still feel this huge hole in my heart for these two children that are missing. And no matter how much love and joy my son brings to my life every day he cannot seem to fill those holes. So of course, I tried to really enjoy him, the reason I became a mother, but it was still a sad day. Of course you are still a mother, but a mother without her child to hold in her arms and that is a tough thing. One other bereaved parent said, it takes an amazing amount of strength to hold an angel...and THAT is so true.

Becky said...

Looks like you had a nice vacation. I wish Addison and Liam both could have been with us on Mothers Day. I was thinking of you and Addison and all our fellow blm's yesterday. Take Care

BellaSteph said...

I am another BLM in case you didn't see my comments before. My son died when he was a little over a month. (Sorry if you have seen my comments and I am just repeating myself) Anyways I struggled with the same thing, if I am even a mom anymore. I know I am though and I know you are too. You will always love and care for Addison just as you did when she was in your womb. Being an angel mommy is the hardest job of them all. It looks like you had a nice vacation. Take care.

Natasha said...

You are most definitely a mom Mary.....a fabulous one! I know little Addie is staying close to you right now so you can feel her love.

Your vacation pictures look great! Looks like you had a lot of fun. I hope you have a peaceful day today and an easy week.....

Sending lots of love

Tiffany said...

Without a doubt, you are a fabulous Mommy to a beautiful little girl. Even though she should be here in your arms, she is definitely by your side.
Your vacation pictures are beautiful. I hope you enjoyed yourself and were able to relax.

Sarita Boyette said...

I'm glad you got to take a lovely vacation. Beautiful Addison made you a Mother and I am honored to send my good wishes to you. (Sorry I'm late)

Raquel said...

Hooray!! I am so happy for your vacation. I've always wanted to swim with dolphins. Exciting!! Enjoy your trip.

Addie is smiling down on you!! Hugs!

Missy said...

Looks like a wonderful vacation and so sorry your Mom day blew too. Much love~

Design by Small Bird Studios | All Rights Reserved