"How very softly you tiptoed into our world, almost silently, only a moment you stayed. But what an imprint your footsteps have left upon my heart." --Dorothy Ferguson
As a friend of mine puts it...today is a blue day. I didn't sleep very well last night. She's coming to me in dreams again. It's not that I don't love seeing her, because I do. I just wish it wasn't only in my dreams. Last night was the third night in a row. Always the same...she laughs, she smiles, she plays and I can't touch her. But at least she seems happy.
I love seeing her happy. I just wish it were in real life and we could all enjoy her being here. It's not right to have to "bury" your child.
"Lord, make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother. She'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my colors. Life ain't always what you think it ought to be, no. Ain't even grey but she buries her baby." --The Band Perry
As I sit here writing this, a coworker says, "Well, stillbirth doesn't really happen anymore..." I couldn't keep quiet about that one. (This happens to be the same coworker who said she wanted to ditch her son one day.) I looked at her and said, "1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage, pregnancy loss or stillbirth." She just looked at me and said "Wow, really? It's still that high?" I just nodded. What else do you say to that? I'm not one that likes to share my personal life at work. A few people here know, mainly because of my older brother. He works for the same company I do, he's just been here longer. Otherwise, I don't share my personal life. Why is it that the world just doesn't see that miscarriage and still birth happen all the time? Or maybe they just want to ignore it all together. But why? There's no reason to be ashamed...yet I don't offer up my loss. Why is that?