Saturday, March 19, 2011

My happy list of small miracles...two blog hops in one.






"I knew that this event in my life would shape and mould me forever. I knew that I could take either 1 of 2 paths. I could let this ruin me and my life or I could let this be the beginning of something beautiful. A different life." --Carly Marie Dudley


      I just read Carly's post, The Story of Christian, and found this statement. Carly has put into words what I have not been able to. My small miracle is the fact that I have chosen a path that will be the beginning of something beautiful, that I refused to let her death ruin my life. And, even more miraculous, is that I am surviving! Its been nearly 7 months and I'm still here...I am a survivor once again. I will continue to walk this path, difficult as it may be, but I will not allow her death to drag me down. Yes, I miss her...more every day. But I WILL NOT be sad for the rest of my life. Thank you Carly for sharing Christian's story. Your words have inspired me today.
      My memory box project is going so well! This is definitely on my happy list this week. I still have a few items I am looking for but they are coming together so quickly! Looking at them on my dining room table just makes me smile. I love it! Another item on my happy list is the weather. Yesterday it was a beautiful 79 degrees and sunny. It was just like the day last year that I first felt Addie move. It was around this time of the year too...I was driving home with my windows down and music cranked up, singing along to Buck Cherry (I'm a huge rock fan). The song was totally inappropriate for a kid but I love it anyway, it's called "Too Drunk to F**k." It was during this song that I first felt those butterfly wings...an amazing feeling to say the least. Yesterday, as I was driving home, that song came on my iPod and I couldn't help but smile. It was almost as if I had gone back in time to last year...oh if only! And, as always, P is on the list. He makes me happy, plain and simple. This man has been through thick and thin with me...it amazes me that he's still around.
     So, that's it. Kind of boring I know, but that's my life. And, I like it...most of the time! Happy Saturday everyone!

3 comments:

Rachel said...

You said it so well, about not letting loss drag you down. I agree that it is okay to be sad and to miss the child we lost. But we do have to continue living and making the most of the life that we have been given.
I have been reading your blog for awhile, but had never mentioned this to you. We almost named our Emily Faith, Addison Fatih. Those were our two names for her. I love the name Addison. But once she was born we just felt like Emily was a better fit for her.
Thank you for sharing.

Becky said...

That is a beautiful quote! It is definitely easy to want to give up but seeing that you are still surviving and not letting it bring you down brings me so much hope for myself that others can do it and so can I.
I am glad the memory boxes make you smile and the sunny weather makes you happy. Praying for more great days ahead

New Year Mum said...

What loving words... may our little angels be part of the start of a beautiful path for us all xoxo

 
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