Rainbows on the horizon for many...yet tears still follow.

   I've been reading about a lot of rainbows lately and wonder when it will be my turn.  I even have a friend who isn't a BLM but just recently found out she is pregnant with her third.  An oops you could say considering her youngest was born just a month before Addie.  I know she is over the moon happy, she and her husband want a big family, but wow...3 kids under the age of 4.  She's a better woman than me!  But I would give anything to be in her shoes.  As 'jealous' (and happy of course, don't get me wrong!  The jealousy is the good kind :) if there can really be a good kind...maybe envious is a better word!) as I am for these mommas and their pregnancies, I often wonder how I will feel when I do finally become pregnant again.  I just read this post at Jenn's Den and just want to cry.  I feel so bad for her, I can't even fathom what she is going through.  Its things like this the scare me the most.  I really don't know what I would do if this happened to me.  And it has happened to poor Jenn more than once...Jenn, I'm praying hard for you and that says a lot coming from a person who doesn't exactly call herself religious.  Positive thoughts are heading your way! 
     I'm impatient and hesitant at the same time when it comes to my own little rainbow.  I've questioned it before and I guess I always will, regardless of how many happy, healthy children I have.  There will always be that "what if" in the back of my mind.  All of my friends out there in blog land please keep Jenn and her little one in your thoughts and prayers.  She's going to need them.