Oh how true!

"I have been through a lot and have suffered a great deal. But I have had lots of happy moments, as well . . .The good, the bad, the hardship, the joy, the tragedy, love, and happiness, are all interwoven into one single indescribable whole that is called life. You cannot separate the good from the bad. And perhaps there is no need to do so, either." -Jackie Kennedy.

So, this quote was posted on Facebook by an organization for baby loss mommas (Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope).  I couldn't help but identify with this.  My life has been shaped by the good and the bad.  I honestly see no reason to separate the two.  I wouldn't be who I am today if not for the lessons I've learned throughout my life. Sure, I would change the past if I could, but would I be the same person I am right now?  Probably not.  I like who I am, I don't want to change that.  Yes, I wish the heartache would go away, oh how I wish!  But, there are some benefits I wouldn't change.  I feel closer that ever to my husband and family because of our loss.  I know its a cliche, but I do feel stronger.  Everything I have gone through in my life, the deaths, the illnesses, the challenges, have all made me stronger and I wouldn't trade that for anything in the world!  Except to have my daughter back in my arms...I really would do anything to have her back.