I feel so selfish. Christmas is supposed to be all about giving to others, but all I can think about is myself. All I can think about is what I want. How is that right? Its all about me...what I want is all I can think about. The closer Christmas gets, the more I think about me. Selfish, selfish, selfish. How can I be so self-centered, so stingy, so inconsiderate? I have never been like this before, what the hell is wrong with me? I'm not that kind of person, but it's all I can think about.
All I want for Christmas is you...to have you in my arms, to watch you sleep at night, to see you laugh and smile. If only I could see you one more time. All I want is you...is that so wrong?
3 comments:
You are not alone. It annoys me that I am even expected to participate in the festivities. I just want to lock myself inside and wait until it's January 5. Then it might be safe to come outside. Sending love and thinking of you and Addison this week.
I feel the same way some days. Grief is uncontrollable in that way unfortunately. I do think that this first Christmas we do have to be a bit selfish to take care of our needs though. I hope that next year can be a little less about me and this loss but for this year I have to accept this as my reality. It's not easy, but it just is.
This time of year is rough. So rough. I'm like Missy - irritated than anybody even would consider that I want to participate in the festivities. Sending you hugs and praying for you. xx
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