Its amazing how the little things can make me miss her so much. Today we had our first snow. It wasn't much to speak of...little more than a dusting, but enough to make it a beautiful scene. Normally, I hate snow. The first flurry of the season is usually all I want to see and then I'm ready for spring. But this year, snow just seems to make me sad. A new season coming and yet she's not here to enjoy it with us. I wonder what I would have done if she were here? Would she have been my little snow baby? Would I have bundled her up and put her in the stroller for a walk in the snow? Or lit the fireplace and read to her until she fell asleep? I guess I'll never know. At least, not anytime soon. Sometimes I forget that I can still have children. I still have a chance to be a mom. But wait...aren't I already a mom? What makes me a mom?
I watched the snow fall and I ache for her even more. I feel like I'm missing out on so much. I had so many hopes and plans for her. I wish I could share those special moments with her. If wishes were dreams and dreams were reality, she'd still be here with me.
I miss you baby girl!
Fallon Jade Rilling
4 days ago