Friday, December 10, 2010

Winter Wonderland

Its amazing how the little things can make me miss her so much.  Today we had our first snow.  It wasn't much to speak of...little more than a dusting, but enough to make it a beautiful scene.  Normally, I hate snow.  The first flurry of the season is usually all I want to see and then I'm ready for spring.  But this year, snow just seems to make me sad.  A new season coming and yet she's not here to enjoy it with us.  I wonder what I would have done if she were here?  Would she have been my little snow baby?  Would I have bundled her up and put her in the stroller for a walk in the snow?  Or lit the fireplace and read to her until she fell asleep?  I guess I'll never know.  At least, not anytime soon.  Sometimes I forget that I can still have children.  I still have a chance to be a mom.  But wait...aren't I already a mom?  What makes me a mom? 

  I watched the snow fall and I ache for her even more.  I feel like I'm missing out on so much.  I had so many hopes and plans for her.  I wish I could share those special moments with her.  If wishes were dreams and dreams were reality, she'd still be here with me.

I miss you baby girl!


Missy said...

We had our first snow yesterday and I felt pretty much the same way. {{Hugs}}

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