Winter Wonderland

Its amazing how the little things can make me miss her so much.  Today we had our first snow.  It wasn't much to speak of...little more than a dusting, but enough to make it a beautiful scene.  Normally, I hate snow.  The first flurry of the season is usually all I want to see and then I'm ready for spring.  But this year, snow just seems to make me sad.  A new season coming and yet she's not here to enjoy it with us.  I wonder what I would have done if she were here?  Would she have been my little snow baby?  Would I have bundled her up and put her in the stroller for a walk in the snow?  Or lit the fireplace and read to her until she fell asleep?  I guess I'll never know.  At least, not anytime soon.  Sometimes I forget that I can still have children.  I still have a chance to be a mom.  But wait...aren't I already a mom?  What makes me a mom? 

  I watched the snow fall and I ache for her even more.  I feel like I'm missing out on so much.  I had so many hopes and plans for her.  I wish I could share those special moments with her.  If wishes were dreams and dreams were reality, she'd still be here with me.

I miss you baby girl!