Saturday, February 26, 2011

Epic fucking failure...I suck.

Oh yeah complete failure.  At least I made to the hospital.  I fucking suck.  I'm a complete asshole.  I am so disappointed in myself.

7 comments:

Raquel said...

Oh Mary, you just loss Addie 5 months ago! You can't beat yourself up about it. It's still very raw. You tried and I'm sure your sister in law understands.

Thinking of you and sending hugs your way!

Sherri said...

You definitely don't suck, and you're not an asshole!!!! I'm proud of you for making it that far (I don't think I could have) It all takes time... maybe in a little while, in a more relaxed setting (your place or maybe theirs) it'll be easier for you. The hospital is not the most comfortable place for your emotions. You made a huge effort, and that has to be appreciated by everyone else involved! Don't beat yourself up over this!
((hugs)) and prayers!

Becky said...

Try not to be so hard on yourself Mary, making it even to the hospital alone was huge. I agree with Sherri, maybe somewhere outside a hospital setting will be easier.

Natasha said...

You definitely do not suck! You are not very far out from losing your precious girl and you did try. I almost walked out of a shoe store today because 2 moms were gushing (very loudly) about how fabulous their newborns were. I almost burst into tears in the middle of buying some summer shoes. You don't suck and you're not an asshole. You're human and a mom and you're grieving. I'm sure your family understands.

Praying for peace and strength for you mama.

((hugs))

Cindy said...

Mary, no epic fail. You made it to the hospital. That is a huge step. She has to understand and there is no way your an asshole! Please don't be disappointing in yourself either. You are human and still grieving. Stay strong Momma!

<3 <3 Hugs and lots of love <3 <3

Melissa said...

You have to be proud of each step...it will get easier. It's only been 6 months. I love the quote Carly marie said, "A mother only grieves because she loves so deeply." You are having a tough time right now and that's ok, you love Addie and she's not here and that is hard....it's ok. I pray for peach for you and that at some point you will have the strength to hold your nephew.

Jenn said...

As the others have said - you did the best you could and that all you can expect yourself to be able to do. You're in such a vulnerable place right now and responses like that are normal. Be gentle with yourself. xx

 
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