I don't know why, but I woke up in a funk today; there were dried tears on my cheeks. I guess today is gonna be a blue day. I dreamed of you again last night. Pretty much the same dream, you were smiling and laughing, reaching for me. I still couldn't get to you though. But, this time, you didn't cry when I couldn't pick you up. You just watched me with those big blue eyes, almost as if you were trying to tell me something. I really don't understand why I'm having dreams like these. Sometimes I wonder if I am going crazy.
I miss your face, I miss your nudges, I miss your little feet. I just plain miss you. How can I miss you so much when I never really had you to begin with? I never really got to meet you, so why does it hurt so much?
I miss you so much. I read on Facebook this morning that Carly, from To Write Their Names in the Sand, will be writing her 10,000th name this week...ten thousand families who've had to say goodbye to their children way too soon. I'll never understand why we had to be one of those families. Maybe its true, maybe you are in a better place. But how can any place be better than my arms? Or Daddy's arms, or Grammy's arms?
Fallon Jade Rilling
2 days ago