It hasn't been easy finding hope these last (almost) 6 months. However, I'm going to take a stab at it and join several other mommas like me and join Franchesca's blog hop (see the link/button above). I am going to write about the big and little things that have brought me hope since I gave birth to my silent, beautiful daughter.
1. First and most of all, my husband has been the biggest contributor of hope. Just seeing him smile lets me know we can get through anything. The amount of complete SHIT we have been through together is astounding...but what amazes me even more is that he is still here. His smile, his presence, tells me that there is hope for a brighter future. And I love him more for it.
2. Secondly is my mom. She has been more than I could ask for. She understands, she knows what its like to go through the loss of a child. Just seeing how she survived her own loss and now my loss tells me that I too will survive.
3. A wonderful, longtime friend. Although she doesn't know it, she has been such a wonderful resource, a wonderful support...another survivor. She has gone on to have 2 beautiful children since the loss of her first baby. She's a wonderful mom and a better friend than I ever could have asked for. Cindy, you have no idea just how much hope you've given me.
4. Meeting other moms like me, those of us who share a unique yet terrible bond, has given me a different type of hope. I read everyday about moms who are feeling the same things I am, going through the same emotions at the same time...and I know I'm not alone. Although I've never met, and probably never will, these women, I feel closer to these women than most of my other friends. They really understand. Its women like Franchesca, Carly, Melissa, Sarah, and so many others that have given me hope...if they can survive, so can I.
5. And, my newest source of hope is my memory box project. I want so badly to create a legacy for my daughter...to show the world just how much I loved her. I HOPE to bring some sort of joy to a family like mine, a family that has to say goodbye too soon.
So, there it is. My celebration of hope. I know its not much, but hope is there. I know as time goes on, there will be more sources of hope. But for now, this is what works for me.