Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Its done...

     So, I did it...I cleaned up the nursery.  It's the first time, since before I went into the hospital, that I've spent any length of time in Addie's room.  And, I survived!  Its a big step for me.  Yesterday, while P was napping, I put all of her clothes in totes, organized by size and just generally straightened things up. 

     It was easier than I thought it would be.  I think it was easy because, even though it was supposed to be her room, it never really WAS her room.  Does that make sense?  I guess I think that way because she never spent any time in it, other than when she was still in my belly.  Although, her name was still on the dresser, ready to be hung on the wall; her sonogram picture was still on the dresser in its frame; the rocker still in the corner waiting to be used; so many clothes have gone unworn.  Ugh, it sucked!  But still wasn't too bad.  I unpacked the hospital bag with her clothes in it.  I put her coming home outfit and her picture outfit in the box I bought just for her stuff.  And her blanket and hat that were given to her in the hospital.  I've also decided to finish her baby book.  Well, finish it as much as possible.  She still existed and its not fair to her to act like she didn't.  It will be interesting to see how much I can get through without crying.  Probably not much.  Once that is done, it will also go in the box.

     I've debated on donating her clothes, but have decided I don't want to yet.  We're still planning on having children, so why give them away?  Besides, I don't think I could give them away just yet...its almost like I'm saying "I give up" and I'm not.  Some may think that the fact I cleaned up the nursery says I'm giving up, but that's so not true.  I see it as getting a head start on welcoming a new life into the world.

     I'm proud of myself for getting through it without shedding a tear.  A very big step for me;  maybe I really am ready to say hello to a new baby.


A big thanks to Fran, who posted this pic for Bluebird Tuesday.
Oh so true...I love the words of Dr Suess!
Thanks, Franchesca!

10 comments:

My New Normal said...

I'm glad you finally had the strength to do it.

Sarah Erwin said...

That was one of the most difficult things. <3 I have been thinking of you! When we found out the run would be on Addison's birthday, I thought of her. Will definitely be sending a SPECIAL birthday balloon up to her at the end of the race.

Raquel said...

Proud of you!! Sending hugs your way!

Tammy said...

Mom is very PROUD of you too! I know that wasn't easy for you because of how much love you put into the room for Addie...but she will always be a part of the love and it will be felt by your rainbow baby when they arrive. You amaze me everyday with your strength and I love you even more for it! What an awesome saying "Dont' cry because it's over, SMILE because it happened" Nothing could say it any better! <3 U!

New Year Mum said...

You should be very proud of yourself... what a big step. I still find it hard to see clothes and other things that we bought for Gabrielle... but we never made it to setting up her nursery. I admire you so much xoxo

Natasha said...

Glad you were able to do that- I still haven't been able to pack away Aiden's things. You're so strong! Sending hugs your way!

xx

Missy said...

It is so hard and you did well mama! I always kept the door shut to the nursery and recently L decided it needed to remain open always. I still catch my breath when I see the crib. I tried several times to fill out the baby book, but just couldn't get through it. I hope you fair better mama! All my love to you and Addison!

Jenn said...

Such a big step! And what an accomplishment to get through it in such a strong manner. Good job mama!

Holly said...

You took a big step that isn't easy to take and im proud of you for doing so well. Im sure it brought up some emotions. Lots of love to you

Rachel said...

I understand what you were saying about it being her room, but not her room. I recently wrote a post about the same thing. I think you are so strong to be able to clean up the room. I have not been able to do it yet. But I know I can take all the time I need.

 
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